Recently we have had some hurt feelings by a close family member. A much younger family member, I feel I should point out. She has always seemed so put together and wiser than her years.
Until recently.
Not only was the trust my husband and I had in her broken, but she has repeated the offense multiple times. My husband and I have always been very close to her mother also. As her mother, she has stood by her side, whether wrong or right.
I respect that.
I would like to think I would do the same. Having a toddler hasn't presented the opportunity to have to be steadfast as a parent, but I hope to be like that. Nonetheless, lines have been crossed on both sides and feelings are raw.
I received a novel of a text this morning from her mother and it felt like it would have been a better conversation had in person. At the very least had on the phone. Rather than calling, she text. Rather than calling, I replied, and thus our conversation was misunderstood and spiraled. I spent the afternoon crying and worrying what my husbands reaction would be to the drama I helped create.
As always, he calmed me down, took my side, and helped me move past the situation.
My heart is still broken. I am still disappointed. I don't know where to put those emotions.
I wear my heart on my sleeve, as they say. I can't compartmentalize my feelings quickly or easily.
So as my sweet and supportive husband sleeps next to me, I lay awake. Stewing, stressing, and saddened by the events that have taken place. All I can do now is wait for an opportunity to ask forgiveness for my part in the misunderstanding and hope this makes us closer.
I am always up for an adventure, but learning about yourself, growing personally, is one of the harder adventures to go on.
